stillgrieving's Blog

I am tired.

I am just so damm tired of doing this on my own, I never wanted to be a single mother, thats why I waited for you. I never wanted to be a single woman, thats why I waited for you. I wanted a home and a family I wanted someone who loved me faults and all, thats why I waited for you. I wanted a lover I wanted a friend, thats why I waited for you. I wanted someone to share all with me, thats why I waited for you.

I cooked your lunch on that last day, because you told me you'd be home that why I waited for you. I watched you in hospital on that last day fighting with all that you had, I believed if I waited you'd come back to me, thats why I waited for you. I know it was to hard and you did all you could but you did'nt win.

I know you're still with us watching me and our girls, I feel you with us sometimes, I promised to love you til the day I died and love you I do with all of my heart. we will be together again in time, that's why my love I will live our dream cause I know that you will wait for me.

feeling crappy

Having a not so good day today, my friends son has been in a car accident and is not expected to survive, his injuries are very much the same as the injuries that killed my husband.  I am feeling so many different emotions right now even though it should be about T and her family.

 I am wondering what would have happened if Glen had made the trip to a Sydney hospital like PJ did, I know they tried to get Glen there but they could'nt stabilize him enough for the trip, they had him in the chopper ready to lift off, then his BP dropped again and we where told he would'nt have survived the flight. Should I have insisted? I was in such a daze what if they had taken the chance and like PJ, Glen did survive the trip would he be here today.

The would have, could haves and should have sure can drive you mad.  I hope to god that T's son survives he is only 22, but as selfish as it sounds I can't help wishing Glen had the same chance. So I am totally mixed up today and feeling very sad for all of us, I would not wish this situation on anyone.

see ya

Am heading off to work now I wish all of you here a happy day or night depending on your time zone. Stay well be happy and most of all be safe. While your at it kiss someone you love and tell them how much they mean to you.


Had the day off today and spent a lovely day with my youngest daughter, we read books, played outside, went for a milkshake amd just cuddled on the lounge. Her dad is missing out on so much, they are both growing up so fast. I wish he was here to watch it with me God I miss him so much time does'nt heal it just makes you feel more ripped off.  Am trying so hard to stay positive and be happy again some days it's just harder than others. what cc2008 or whatever his name is really hurt. Maybe me being to sensitive but Aug is a really hard month for me.

pissed off

Went to work this afternoon after arrangeing babysitters sorting out dinner for everyone, to find out the shift had been written with my name by mistake. So I get sent home, not only do I miss out on Sunday penlties (pay rates) but have to rearrange my sitter for next couple of days, and it's the second time it has happened this week. It's not as though I can just drop everything and go to work whenever I have to know in advance so I can sort things out at home. Am going to complain to managment tomorrow, but am feeling grrrrrrrrrr right now. Thank for letting me vent don't want to get angry with the kids cause I'm pissed of with work.

1-5 of 5 Blogs   

Previous Posts
I am tired., posted April 22nd, 2010, 1 comment
feeling crappy, posted August 24th, 2009, 1 comment
see ya, posted August 20th, 2009
SSDD, posted August 20th, 2009
pissed off, posted August 16th, 2009, 1 comment

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